Witty Phantom Hotel 1313 Nowhere Road
by Swishy-fiend
Summary: Meiko, and... yes, those other little main-character-people--all get stranded at the Witty Phantom's hotel for ghost, spirits, and other spooks. OC (Shana) bashing. Avoiding romance, cannot resist for ever.. Chpt 3 up.
1. The Start of the Problem

Swishy Fantasies Presents:

* * *

  
**Witty Motel, 1313 Nowhere Road: Chapter 1**

by: Yours truly

* * *

  
Swishy: Hello! Before we get on with the story, we'd like to take the time to give you the...

_**DISCLAIMER!!!**_

Shaadi: Making the font look fancy and bold does not make it anymore original than everyone else's.

Swishy: *****frowns*** **Be quiet, Shaadi. The disclaimer's the most fun part of the fic.

Shaadi: Still, you cannot make it look anymore original...

Swishy: Aw.. Shaadi! Why do you have to take everything so seriously? It's suppose to be fun.

Shaadi: And may I also point out that you are not the first one to use me in a disclaimer, either?

Swishy: I just think it's such a great idea, since you rarely show up in anyone's stories.

Shaadi: Can you at least point out that these are not all your original ideas?

Swishy: *yells* THAT'S WHAT THE DISCLAMER'S FOR, DUMMY SHAADI!

Shaadi: *grumbles* It's not my fault I didn't notice, my mind's on greater things, such as guarding the Millennium Items.

Swishy: Speaking of which, you take your job way too seriously.

Shaadi: I do not. Guarding the Millennium Items is a big responsibility. If these items were to fall into the wrong hands...

Swishy: Weell, Wrapping them in bubble wrap, implanting DNA sensors in them, refusing to keep them in Fort Knox or a Swiss bank because they lack the security, and guarding the room which you keep them in with 78 different varieties of alarms, kinda, well, seems to me to be a slight exaggeration of your duties.

Shaadi: That's not an exaggeration! Fort Knox doesn't have any magical or dimensional barriers, how do you expect them to be able to protect...

Swishy: Just go and do the disclaimer, Shaadi. *hands sheet*

Shaadi: *reads* Disclaimer: Swishy Fantasies does not own the following: disclaimers, Shaadi, any of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Entities, the Big Five, bubble wrap, Fort Knox, Shaadi's mind, DNA sensors, any Swiss Banks, alternate dimensions, or any Millennium Items... yet... Hey! What's the whole "yet" thing about?

Swishy: Did I forget Yodel's brain? 'Cause I don't own that either...

Yodel: *pops up* I ate it! *back down*

Shaadi: I want to know what--

*STARTING FANFIC*

* * *

Through keen observations, one could reach the conclusion that if one were to asked 10 common,  
everyday high schools students what they thought of school, 9 ½ of them would say they hate it.  
Although, at least two of them would probable give you a few choice words if asked to elaborate on  
the subject, and these descriptions certainly wouldn't show up in a PG movie any day soon. But that's  
off the point. Furthermore, if the same kids were asked again whether they would prefer a field trip  
over a day in class, again, about 9 ½ of them would say yes. And finally, to wrap it up, ask those 10  
kids again if they would feel happy about going on an all day field trip, about 8 ½ of them would say  
"yes" again. One of them would most likely interrupt and ask you why you are asking them so many  
questions. And right now, about 9 ½ out of 10 of you are asking yourselves this "Where in the world  
is this wandering author going?" About ½ out of 10 of you are asking "Where in the world is Carmen  
Sandiego?" So now, as a conclusion, I will explain to you the answer to the first question. You see, I  
was leading you readers up to the reaction which our subject, Jounouchi Katsuya*, had when he  
found out that instead of taking a test, a pop quiz, and listening to a twenty page lecture on the  
history of jam jars, he was, instead going on a field trip to an aquarium. He threw his books in the air  
and shouted:

**YAHOO!!"**

But, due to the side effects of hasty reaction, his math book then proceeded west to the teacher's  
coffee mug, language went to the right on to his best friend Hiroto Honda's* head, and his papers  
went all over the room. The results of this was Honda nearly having his brains bashed in, Ms. Chono  
losing her coffee mug (and coffee), and Jounouchi earning a blow to the stomach and nearly earning  
an expulsion plus a F in Physics for not predicting what would happen by flinging his books all over  
the place. However, fortunately for Jounouchi, they were interrupted by someone coming in and  
announcing that the charter bus was here. Ms. Chono was more than glad to make Jounouchi leave,  
leaving Jounouchi to wonder why she got so ticked off at him for a little accident like that. But, never  
mind that, onward to the bus he went.   
  
After much apologizing and coaxing, Honda finally agreed that the flying text book incident could be  
overlooked and that he would sit next to Jounouchi on the bus. After all, Jounouchi was sorry, and  
none of the remaining seats were next to anybody he knew (or wanted to know). So, he sat down next  
to Jounouchi and immediately began discussing important matters, such as who was the stupidest  
teacher and how school sucked. Every once in a while, between Jounouchi passionately arguing that  
Ms. Chono had to be the stupidest teacher in the school ("Expelling me over just a stupid little coffee  
mug?!?) and Honda's persistent argument that Mr. Kyoto was more of an idiot than Ms. Chono ("He  
failed me over one petty little assignment!!"), from behind them Tea was arguing her point that maybe  
it wasn't the teacher, it was Jounouchi and Honda acting up, and that Honda's grade was already on  
the edge to begin with. But they pretty much ignored her and continued on to discuss the movies they  
had watched recently. Yugi sat beside Tea, half listening to them, half talking about life in general with  
his Yami, who was only half listening to Yugi and half thinking about dueling (which he always does).  
Yugi had his head against the window as he sat there, half listening, half talking, plus ignoring the  
trees going whizzing by outside the window.   
  
Meanwhile, across the aisle, Ryou Bakura had turned around to ask one of the girls sitting behind him  
to ask for a CD. One of the most annoying things about the spirit of the Millenium Ring was that he  
had thrown out all of Bakura's old CDs, which he said were full of "fu-fu music for pathetic mortal  
fools and idiots". His father had refused to let him buy any more CDs because he was wasting money  
buying exact copies of the ones he just threw out. So, Bakura had absolutely no CDs. Fortunately for  
him, all of his inter-class fans listen to the same genre of music he did, so he just asked to borrow  
some of theirs. He put the CD in, on with the headphones, turned the volume to the perfect level, then  
pressed play. As the music filled his ears, a strange tremor riveted through him. Had he just flinched  
at the music? Then he realized it was the spirit of the Millennium Ring.   
  
"_If you don't like it, you don't have to listen." _he told the evil spirit. He was answered with a moan, a  
growl, and then loud, muttered grumbling. And then Yami Bakura** retreated into the Millennium  
Ring.  
  
Meanwhile, behind the girls behind Bakura, Meiko* Tsunami had stealthily pulled out a self-help book  
on "How to Feel Less Like an Backstage-er and More Like a Hero: Moving Up In Life". Recently he  
had be consumed by this weighty feeling that life was a TV show and he was just some sad little extra.  
Because depression like the aforementioned can really hurt your social life and your concentration,  
he checked out a book on the subject from the school library. However, to not dig a hole in his social  
life in another way, he had disguised the book to look like a common, ordinary magazine. Although  
some people thought it was a little strange that Meiko* was in to break-dancing, the trick worked. No  
one suspected a thing.  
  
Elsewhere on the bus, people were chatting happily. Unless you were Seto Kaiba or Espa Roba. Kaiba  
had a very grumpy expression on his face, and Roba wasn't there, due to the fact that he had sibling  
to take care of and two of them that had the chicken pox. Kaiba, on the other hand, had left Mokuba  
to go to school, then go straight home and lock the door. After all, he was old enough to take care of  
himself. But, just in case, he had hired a bodyguard which had be put through an intense background  
check before even being considered for the job. And he had placed tracking devices on both of them.  
Speaking of which, he turned on the tracking device. "What?!?" Mokuba wasn't at Kaiba Manor! He  
quickly typed in a search of the surrounding area. Mokuba was on a moving vehical traveling on 236  
West at 50 mph. He glanced up just in time to see a sign reading "236 W" flash by before..  
  
"Hi, Seto!"  
  
Kaiba jumped. He whirled around (actually, turned around because he was sitting down) to see...  
"Mokuba!"  
  
"This's a cool bus. Why doesn't my class get to ride charter buses?"  
  
"What are you doing here?!?"  
  
"I hate school." said Mokuba "It's boring. I heard you were going on a trip to the aquarium, so I  
wanted to come too! Please, Seto, can I stay?"  
  
Kaiba frowned "But I thought I hired a bodyguard to keep an eye on you."  
  
"He's worse than school, so Shana distracted him while I snuck to your school."  
  
"Who's Shana?"  
  
Just then a frizzy, blonde-headed girl with a serious caffeine issue popped out from behind Mokuba.  
  
"Himyname'sshananicetomeetyakaibayourmokubasbigbrotherrightwestoppedatstarbucksbeforeweg  
ottoyourschoolandiboughtanicedespressodoyouknowthatespressossomekindareallystrongcoffeewithl  
otsacaffeineandiputextrasugerinmineyouknowilikesugarireallyreallydoyaknow..."  
  
Kaiba's frown grew sharper.  
  
"Don't worry Seto, We didn't charge it to your credit card even though Shana's espresso was kinda  
expensive."  
  
"Mokuba..." began Kaiba, but Shana interrupted him.  
  
"Immokubasfriendifyadidntknowcauseimnothisgirlfriendincaseyouthoughiwascausesomepeoplethink  
imhisgirlfriendcausewesitatthesametableatlunchdoyouhaveanyfriendskaiba?"  
  
Kaiba interrupted "Mokuba?"  
  
"Yes, Seto?" said Mokuba nervously.  
  
He sighed. "Do you know how much trouble you may have caused?"  
  
Mokuba looked at the floor. "Sorry, Seto... I just really don't like that bodyguard guy, he made me  
look stupid. And his name was Bob! How in the world can I look cool with a bodyguard named Bob?"  
  
"But you can't just hop on someone's field trip without asking. And I don't have anyone to come take  
you off the bus. Just sit here and don't make any noise." He motioned to the seat beside himself.  
  
"Where's Shana going to sit?"  
  
Shana added "Yeahthatsrightkaibaicantsitonyourlapyouvegottalaptop..."  
  
The thought of having a sugar-hyped, caffeine loaded pre-teen ditz on his lap made him shudder.

"Just, go, sit anywhere far, far, far up front."   
  
"But I can't talk to her when she's sitting in the front." complained Mokuba.  
  
How could he understand what she was saying? But then he realized that people might start paying  
attention to him in the back of the bus.  
  
"Talk later. She goes to the front." commanded Kaiba.  
  
"Awwyouremeankaibamokubayourebrothersameanieidontwannasitnexttohimifhesgonnabeagrouchillsi  
tnexttotheguywiththeblackponytail." She then proceeded to suddenly and abruptly sit down five seats  
up next to Otogi*, who was reading a magazine.  
  
"Himynamesshanaimmokubasfriendyoureaniceguynicerthankaibaanywayyouvegotcooldiceearingswh  
eredyagetthemiwantearingslikethoseyouknowihadanespressobeforeigotonthebusdoyouknowthatespr  
essossomekindareallystrongcoffeewithlotsacaffeineandiputextrasugerinmineyouknowilikesugarireall  
yreallydoyaknowandwanaplaythelicenceplategamehuh?huh?huh?..."  
  
Otogi looked up slowly from his magazine, turned to look at her for a few seconds, turned back  
around slowly and buried his head in the magazine and hoped the aquarium wasn't too much further  
away.

After the discovery of the sugar-hyped blond-haired girl on the bus, the trip became very interesting  
to a few, and very agonizing to most. Jounouchi thought it was funny, for at least a little while, to  
watch her for a while to see if she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. But she didn't, and her  
ceaseless babbling began to drive him crazy. When was she going to shut up? Finally, she came down  
from her hyperactive state and fell asleep in her chair. But by that time, the continuous steady stream  
of words had hypnotized everyone into a deep slumber. (Either that, or everyone didn't really fall  
asleep, their brain's just overloaded from too much nonsense to comprehend.) Jounouchi was snoring  
loudly and leaning against Honda who was leaning against the window, also snoring. Anzu had fallen  
asleep in her chair, and Yugi was leaning forward and was drooling on his Millennium Puzzle, much to  
the unhappiness of his disgruntled Yami. Bakura slept for a while peacefully, then occasionally twitch  
and smirk in a nasty way, then go back to peaceful dreams. Meiko* slept, Mai** slept, Kaga* slept,  
Ryu-zaki* slept, extras numbers 1-16 slept,... ok, lets just let the record say everyone slept EXECPT  
Kaiba. He was too busy running a company over a laptop to sleep. He almost never sleeps. Which  
makes us wonder whether he's a vampire or not... But totally not the point. Kaiba was awake, typing  
up a storm and occasionally taking a sip from his coffee which he paid the teacher not to confiscate.  
He shouldn't have done that, however, because the bus all of a sudden lurched and he accidently spilt  
his coffee all over Mokuba. Unfortunatly, Mokuba was having a nightmare, and having coffee spilt all  
over him just confirmed that his brother was being murdered.  
  
"AAAHHHH!!! SETO'S JUST BEEN MURDERED AND THEY'VE POURED OUT HIS BLOOD ALL OVER  
ME!!" (People will believe crazy things when their only half awake)  
  
Before Kaiba could respond, the half-awake Mokuba had jumped to his feet and dove over the seat  
right on to Jounouchi and Honda. Jounouchi thought in his sleepy state he was being attacked by a  
ferocious creature. So, doing the first thing that came to mind when being attacked by a ...  
something... , he started wacking Mokuba. Honda was thrown in a state of disorganized mind, and  
started hitting the closest thing to him (Mokuba). Mokuba by now had been thrown into a state of  
hysterics and was flailing about, and when Kaiba tried to get him off Jounouchi, he fought back.   
  
"YOU CAN'T EAT MY SPLEEN, MR. EVIL JOUNOUCHI MAN! GO AWAY!!"  
  
"GET OFF ME YOU MAN-EATING CAMEL-DOG!!" yelled Jounouchi  
  
Honda was confused. "Wha..who? Whosgotacameradog?"  
  
"Mokuba!" began Kaiba, trying to get him off of Jounouchi and Honda, but then Jounouchi kicked  
Kaiba in the stomach and knocking him on to Shana and Otogi. Otogi was dreaming about being in a  
candy factory and bit Kaiba. Shana had other dreams.  
  
"THE SKY IS FALLING!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!!! RIVERS OF BLOOD AND ENTRAILS ARE  
EVERYWHERE!!" (boy, what a graphic little child)  
  
We can all just see it now. The bus being thrown into chaos, everyone up and panicked, Otogi trying to  
eat Kaiba, Jonouchi yelling about man-eating camel-dogs, Mokuba crying, Shana screaming about  
"blood, doom, eternal school, evil psycho maniacs, little green yami from Mars, evil Charlie monsters  
from Pluto, and the world's end by the moon smashing into it", and Yami Bakura laughing and trying  
to bite off their neck. All of a sudden, the bus swerved to the side. It stopped, the door opened, the  
bus driver jumped out and ran off into the night screaming "THE WORLD'S ENDING! THE WORLD'S  
ENDING!"  
"Oh brother." thought Kaiba. He pulled out his Megaphone-in-a-Box, turned it on, and yelled into it.  
"FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!" Otogi chomped on his wrist. Kaiba put the megaphone in his face.  
"ATTENTION, OTOGI! STOP BITING ME!" Otogi stopped biting, woke up, greatly ticked off, seized  
the megaphone and said in to it "ATTENTION, KAIBA. I CAN HEAR YOU FINE WITHOUT YOUR  
MEGAPHONE." Kaiba glared and seized back the megaphone. "OK. DUE TO THE LACK OF A BUS  
DRIVER, I WILL BE IN CHARGE. YOU WILL ALL LISTEN TO ME! ME! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!" He  
cackled maniacally. All the people on the bus stared at him. "*ahem* YOU WILL NOW STOP STARING  
AT ME, SIT DOWN AND BE QUIET!" Everyone but Jounouchi sat down. "Oh, great. Why does the  
mutt always have to be a little rebel?" muttered Kaiba. Jounouchi seized the megaphone and said in  
to it "WHY DO **YOU** ALWAYS HAVE TO BE IN CHARGE?!" Kaiba reclaimed the megaphone. "I AM  
NOT ALWAYS IN CHARGE, JOUNOUCHI. DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR PLACE IN LIFE,  
YOU CAMEL-DOG."  
  
Jounouchi grabbed it back. "YES YOU ARE ALWAYS TELLING US WHAT TO DO!"  
  
"So, are you admitting that I have superiority over you?"  
  
"NO, I'M SAYING THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS ASSUMING IT!"  
  
"I assume it because it's true."  
  
Before Jounouchi could come up with a counter-argument, Yami Bakura grabbed the megaphone.   
  
"ATTENTION, EVERYONE! THE PHAROAH IS A CAMEL-DOG! SOMEONE HAS JUST PLANTED A  
BOMB ON YOUR STUPID LITTLE BUS! ALL YOU IDIOTS BETTER START RUNNING FOR YOU  
PATHETIC LITTLE LIVES! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" He thew his head back to laugh and was  
trampled by twenty frantic high-schoolers and two scared middle-schoolers, leaving one annoyed  
looking Yami Yugi and one flattened-looking Yami Bakura on the bus. He sighed, picked up Yami  
Bakura and the abandoned megaphone, and walked calmly walked off the bus. After getting a close  
enough distance for the huddle mass of poor, frightened, idiots who actually believe that there was a  
bomb on the bus... Actually, it was a mix of that, and people who had been carried off the bus by  
force... Well, he just got within hearing range of them. Yami Yugi turned the megaphone back on and  
said very calmly into the megaphone. "ATTENTION, EVERYONE. THERE IS NO BOMB ON THE BUS.  
EVIL BAKURA'S JUST A MORON. I REPEAT, THERE IS NO BOMB ON THE --"  
  
All of a sudden, the bus exploded into a huge inferno. Great big pieces of the bus were sent flying in  
all directions. Glass shards were everywhere, and a large piece of tire landed on Yami Yugi's head.   
  
"ER... I MEAN, THERE IS NO BOMB ON THE BUS, BUT I THINK IT JUST SPONTANEOUSLY  
COMBUSTED." said Yami Yugi, looking very shocked.  
  
"Actually," said Yami Bakura dryly, "There was. You wanna know how I knew?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I planted it there." He then broke into insane, evil giggles.  
  
Just then, the clouds let loose all their might and a down-pour started, soaking everyone instantly.  
Heavy rain fall stirred up the sand around them. Kaiba felt like he was being rubbed down with sand  
paper.  
  
"Jounouchi, both of your "friends" are complete loonies. You belong together in an asylum."  
  
As if on cue, lightning crackled across the sky. "To shelter!" yelled someone, and they all dashed  
towards their hotel... and to Fate's arms, waiting to toss them into the jaws of Yami Bakur... er, I  
mean Doom.

* ** I alternate between dubbed names and Japanese names, it's a off habit I have.

Swishy: Well, doesn't that make a nice first chapter?

Shaadi: It's too short. You have too many font changes. There are spelling mistakes. You use "and" too much.

Swishy: Stop it, Shaadi! Other people are suppose to review my fic, not you! 

Shaadi: I still say it's unfit for publishing... and not very profitable.

Swishy: Everyone, please review my fic. Only no flames pretty please, Shaadi already flamed it enough to start a real bonfire.

Shaadi: By the way, what was that about not having any Millennium Items _yet_?

Yodel: Shaadi's hair is really pink and his pajamas are like a pink bunny suit.

Shaadi: You lie!

Yodel: They also have camel-dogs on them. See? *holds up Shaadi pajamas with little Jounouchi heads on them*

Swishy: Oh, and by the way, please welcome my co-editor and co-commentor Yodel!

Yodel: I am dead. Review or I will come back from the dead as an evil, carnivorous camel-dog, and steal Bakura away so none of you can have his pretty but deranged Yami.

P.S.: I don't like flames, but please tell me if I misspell someone's name, or if you don't like me using both dubbed names and Japanese names.


	2. Welcome to Wi I mean Desert King Hotel

Swishy Fantasies Presents:

* * *

  
**Witty Motel, 1313 Nowhere Road: Chapter 2**

by: Yours truly

* * *

  
Swishy: Welcome back, all you noble pirates! Now it is time for the....

_**DISCLAIMER!!!**_

Swishy: ..., the part of the show where me and Shaadi host the disclaimer! 

Shaadi: The people reading this fic are "readers", not "pirates"

Swishy: Quiet, dummy Shaadi, I'm trying to dedicate this disclaimer to all camel-dogs out there. 

Shaadi: First you try hyping the disclaimer with fancy fonts, now you try to dedicate your disclaimer to pirates, what's next?

Shaadi: Wait, what did you say?

Swishy: You know Shaadi, you could just be a reflection of my inner, self-criticism of my self, and that you don't really exist?

Shaadi: O.o Stop freaking me out!!"

Swishy: Well, you can stop being so critical all the time and I'll stop freaking you out.

Shaadi: I can't help it, your works always lack so much, and due to the fact that I...

Swishy: Stop it, dummy Shaadi, or I'll use my Millennium Toothpick on you.

Shaadi: *can't help but laugh* A Millennium Toothpick? *to self* What was the Pharaoh thinking when he made that one?

Swishy: Ah, yes, Shaadi, but the Millennium Toothpick is the greatest Millennium item ever!

Shaadi: The greatest Millennium item ever?

Swishy: One of it's talent's is it can read disclaimers. *to Millennium Toothpick* Read disclaimer!

Millennium Toothpick: *reads* Disclaimer: Swishy Fantasies does not own the following: disclaimers, any of the Yu-Gi-Oh! Entities, Egypt, charred pieces of bus, anti-genius ideas, eerie lights, glowing ink, a haunted hotel, etc., or any of the Millennium Items owned by Shaadi, only the really, super-cool Millennium Toothpick(and camel-dogs).

Swishy: And it's smart, too.

Millennium Toothpick: ...

Shaadi: Why did it say "..."? How can it say "..."? Is that possible?

Swishy: That means it's saying nothing, 'cause have you ever heard of a talking toothpick?

Shaadi: Then how could that miniscule shard of wood read a discla--

----------------------------------------------------------------------

*STARTING FANFIC*

As they were all making a mad dash to the hotel, only one person bothered to stop and think "Hold it, why are we running to some abandoned hotel in the middle of nowhere, doesn't it seem a little fishy that there is a hotel in the middle of nowhere?" That would be Meiko's thoughts, but years of being an extra had taught him to never ask questions, the bigger characters would eventually solve it in the end even if it made absolutely no sense. Jounouchi, meanwhile, was running all out, being scared silly of.. er.. I mean was worried for everyone else's safety and trying to prevent them from being struck by *gulp* lightning. It wasn't like he was afraid of it or any thing. I mean, alright, maybe he was a little scared of it, but who could blame him? It was out in the middle of nowhere, nothing around for miles except sagebrush, pieces of charred bus, and one, big hotel. Speaking of that hotel, his "bad feeling" senses were driving him nuts about that hotel. It looked like it'd never pass a safety inspection, much less ever had one done on it. The windows were cracked, a squeaky shudder flapped in the wind, overgrown weeds grew up around it.. Oh, whoops, wrong story. You see, the weird thing about _this_ hotel, besides the dark, gloomy air around the place and the aforementioned weeds, it was in perfect shape. Which really threw Jounouchi's "bad feeling" senses for a loop, he thought it was going to be a decrepit, old building in the middle of nowhere. This place looked all taken care of, the garden looked all nice, the windows all had fresh coats of paint on them. A really great place, despite it being in the middle of a desert. He was going to ask Yugi about it once they stopped running, but right then, he was all out of breath. They finally reached the door. Honda seized the door knob, flung it open, and they all rushed inside. The first thing out of Jounouchi's mouth was "Ok, who's stupid idea was it to come here, anyways?"  
"I was about to ask the same thing." said Tea "I mean, an abandoned hotel in the middle of a blank stretch of road, doesn't that just seem weird?"

"Yeah, I mean coming in here's just asking for trouble." pointed out Otogi.  
"It sure wasn't my idea." said Jounouchi "I thought it was stupid."  
"Not my idea." followed up Honda.

"Nope"

"Not me."

When they turned to look at Meiko, he responded "Don't look at me, I thought all you major characters would figure it out." They all stared at him. He looked nervous "Never mind! I meant 'Nope, not me'"  
"Well, it's not as bad as it looks..." said Shana. Every one stared at her. "Er, I mean... uh-oh..."

"You mean we've been following the advice of a twelve year old this whole time?" Jounouchi grumbled "Oh, great."

"Well, now that we're here," said Yugi, trying to change the subject, "What are we going to do now?"

"We accept our destiny!!" shouted Yami Yugi, striking a very noble/dorky pose.

Yugi stared at his Yami. "Yami, are you trying to make me regret I finished the Millennium Puzzle in the first place?"

"What are you talking about, Yugi?"

"Never mind, Yami. Never mind."

"Actually, on the sadder end of the spectrum," said Kaiba, coolly "We really don't have much elsewhere to go, now do we?" He glared at Mokuba. "Why didn't you just stay home where this kind of stuff wouldn't happen to you?"

"This stuff's ten times cooler than staying at school. I like it more. Besides, you'll protect me, won't you Seto?"

Just then, a light flickered on in the lobby, which they were standing in, and the group was able to look around.  
"Say, where's everybody else?" asked Jounouchi.

"Who?"

"You know, all those little people who stand around in our class and never seem to say anything. You know those people?"

Jounouchi was right. Their whole class had been reduced to Bakura, Yugi, Jounouchi, Anzu, Honda, Otogi, Meiko (yes, I did single out Meiko), Kaiba, and the two middle schoolers, both of which had not left Kaiba's side, even for a second.

**Meanwhile, at Bakura's house**(And this little thingie here was inserted by Yodel)

"Boy," said Bakura's Mum, "it was a good thing you sent Bakura on the field trip."

Bakura's Pop smiled, then frowned. "Bakura was on a field trip?!?"

She froze, and her eye's grew wide.

"WHAT?!? DIDN'T YOU SEE THE PERMISSION SLIP?!?!?!?!?!"

*sweat droplet* "Well...... no......uh....I.......I hoped he walked to school....."

*sigh* "Oh, well. I hope it isn't too long before he gets back..."

**Meanwhile, back at the ... other place.."**( back to Swishy)

Shana's eyes grew wide. "I know what happened! They were taken by minions of the un-dead to their secret lair to be made into human sacrifices to their cabbage gods!"

"You know, I read something like that on the front of a supermarket tabloid once." said Honda "I always wondered who they got to do their articles..." 

"Listen, you," interrupted Jounouchi, "I don't want to have to listen to you whimper and moan about some stupid story about minions and all that junk. So let's just make it clear now, that I'm not going to tolerate some stupid zombie nonsense while we're here..."

Just then, the storm interrupted with a huge flash of lightning, followed by a "*CRACK-BOOOOOM!!*".

"AAAHHH! IT'S UNDEAD MINIONS!" screamed Jonouchi in a very manly way, and then everyone's nerves broke and they all scattered. All except Kaiba, who Mokuba had reflexively hid behind.

"This is pathetic. I'm stuck in here with a bunch of geeks who all believe in ghosts and haunted houses and other fairy tale nonsense. (No, Mokuba, not you. I was referring to the rest of them.)"

"T-that's stupid. I-I don't believe in i-idiotic stuff like that-t..." said Jounouchi from behind the chair.

"I'm not scared, I'm not scared, I'm not scared..." whimpered Shana from behind a curtain.

"I'm only a bit jumpy, 'cause, well,..er... it startled me.." said Meiko coming back from a dash to the window.

"What do you think? Me, afraid?" said Honda, attempting to look tougher than Jounouchi and failed due to the fact of his knocking knees.

"O-ok. I think everyone's a bit shaken up by this storm." said Anzu, deciding to try and take charge of the situation. "The house looks strong enough to take the storm, at least it'll have to do. I don't know of anywhere else we could stay, so we're going to have to stay here."

They took this opportunity to scan the area over. Just then, Yugi noticed a sign on the wall. "Huh? What's that?" he said, motioning to the sign on the wall. Everyone (except Kaiba, because he's a rebel) walked over to the sign. Oh, and Shana stayed put as well. 

"What's it say?" asked Jounouchi.

Honda snorted. "Gee, Jounouchi, I thought you were below average, but not that low."

"Ha, ha, very funny. I was asking a rhetorical question."

"Well, someone should read it, 'cause the readers certainly can't see it." said Meiko. They all stared at him. "Never mind! Never mind..." Bakura decided to read it for the sake of variety and his pretty face.

"Welcome, guest. Please be sure to sign in before taking a key. We hope you find you stay restful and relaxing at the Witty Phan Desert King Hotel."

"A hotel?" said Yugi.

"That's what it says on the sign." said Bakura.

"Well a "desert king" it's certainly not." said Otogi. "This doesn't get the five-star rating in my book."

"It's in the middle of nowhere. What do you expect, red carpet?" said Honda. 

"It's not a hotel, it's a piece of rotten wood stuck in the ground, for crying out loud!" muttered Kaiba.

"Man, this place's stinks." grumbled Jounouchi.

"Dusty, too." said Anzu, sneezing.

"Again, what do you expect from a place like this? The only reason it's standing it the fact that it's in the middle of nowhere." 

"I hope it's not mildewy. I'm allergic to mildew." said Meiko.

"I hope none of the floorboards are rotten." said Yugi, cautiously stepping to the side as one of them creaked under his feet.

"I hope it has a bathroom, 'cause I could really use one right now." said Jounouchi.

"With any luck, it'll be a outhouse." said Honda "And only one of them."

"I don't want to have to use an outhouse, Seto, those places stink." whined Mokuba.

"I don't wanna go in one." said Shana "I make a lousy night patrol."

"That's outhouse, Shana, not guardhouse."

"Oh." And she continued to hide in the curtain.

"I wonder when the last person signed into this old place." said Bakura, starting to open the sign-in book, but Jounouchi nearly slammed it down on his fingers.

"Are you insane? Opening an old book in a hau- huge, old dusty hotel." hissed Jounouchi, glancing over his shoulder to look at Kaiba. "I mean, come on, what's the point?"

"I'm just curious.." said Bakura "It's not that big of a deal, really." He proceeded to open the book.

"No!" whispered Jounouchi frantically, but it was too late. Bakura read the last entry. "That's odd, the last entry was yesterday. And they haven't signed out yet."

"AHHHHH!" screamed Shana from behind the curtains and leaped out from behind them. Everyone jumped.

"What are you doing, you lunatic?" shouted Kaiba. "If you wake anyone, you're dead."

"I know.." said Shana "'Cause if I do, then the zombie men are gonna come down stairs and suck the life juices out of me to strengthen their evil zombie powers! They're gonna lock us in here forever!" She broke down into hysteric whimpering.

There was a long moment of silence. Then, Bakura said "Well, if this hotel is still operational, then maybe we could sign in for a room." Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "Or...not never mind just asking..."

he said as he retreated from view.

"I don't care if this hotel's still in business or not, I'm not signing in, nor will I pay a single penny to stay in this sorry excuse of a hotel." said Kaiba in a you-don't-deserve-my-presence-kind-of-attitude. 

"Of course, money-bags, of course. I don't mind if you want to stay outside. Feel free to. I'm cordially inviting you to leave. Please, please, please, LEAVE!" said Jounouchi "It'll make my life much better."

"Jounouchi," Kaiba mumbled, " You are a camel-dog."

"What's a camel-dog?"

"It's a genetic freak of nature, a mutant beast that's the result of your existence. Because you exist, camel-dogs exist. You are a camel-dog."

"THAT'S IT, I'M NOT TAKING ANOTHER SECOND OF THIS! I'M GONNA--"

"Do what, Jounouchi? Your threats are all bark and no bite. If you want to get this over with, we can." He wielded his briefcase in a threatening manner.

But before Jounouchi could make a comeback, a thin, spindly, ethereal voice cut through like a frozen string. "Look at what we have here, deary me, deary me. Could you keep it down? You're screaming loud enough to wake the dead from their sleep." All at once, a man stepped out of the shadows. He was wearing a purple suit and had his hat over his eyes, making his face indistinguishable. 

Shana paused, then started to draw in another breath for a scream, but Anzu covered her mouth. "Stop screaming, will you please? It's getting on my nerves."

"Who are you?" asked Yugi.

"A little someone..." started the man, walking around the counter, "who owns this little hotel, which you all were talking about."

"Oh.. er, sorry, we didn't mean to belittle your hotel, it's just.. looks a little... er..." began Yugi, but Jounouchi interrupted.

"This place's a little dusty, you got a restroom?"

"Jounouchi!" admonished Anzu.

"Er, did I say that out loud? I really didn't mean it, honest." 

Anzu sighed, but the man merely chuckled.

"It's quite alright, young man. It's been a while since I've dusted, but it's been quite a while since I've had... **your** kind of visitors. Being adolescents and all. Well! Let's see, are you here for a room? You must be, since people of your kind wouldn't sleep outside at all, no, indeed not." As he bent over to retrieve a pen, everyone else looked at each other with a "okaay-this-guy's-a-little-weird" look. But as soon as he stood back up, every one snapped back to there normal poses, except for Mokuba, who continued to look at him funny. "You sound familiar. Do I know you?"

"Maybe so, maybe so." said the man with another chuckle. "But, here. Since it is raining, I'll let you stay for free."

"Good." growled Kaiba "Because I would pay to spend the night here if it were the last inhabitable place on earth."

"All quite understandable, this place wasn't built for young people like you, after all, but it'll do, it'll do, just for the night, then you can call a ride out of this "barren wasteland" and be on your way. Here are the keys to your rooms, but, of course, you'll have to sign in here." he said, pulling out another book.

Bakura started to ask why that book instead of the one on the counter, but since the man was being so ...er... call it generous, he decide not to bother, and signed his name on the page. The ink glowed for a brief moment in a flash of lightning, but after the flash, the ink looked normal again. He turned to each one of them and offered it to them. Otogi hesitated.

"If it's for free, then why do we have to sign in?"

"Oh, just for the record keeping, must keep track of all who stay in my hotel. Local mandates, insurance issues. It's alright. You only have to sign here." 

Otogi looked reluctant, but decided that one foot was already in the lake, he might as well go in for it. 

After signing in, they started to walk up the stairs. By this point, however, Shana was quivering like a pile of hyperactive jello. "I wanna go home, I wanna go home, I wanna go home..." she whispered.

Jounouchi turned around on the stairs in order to face Shana. "Look, I am not going to put up with your blubbering for another minute, so could you just chill?"

"Just up the stairs and to the left. Thank you.." The mysterious receptionist's voice trailed off, leaving them with a moment of silence. After Meiko thought "This is stupid, when are we going to do something?", they eventually started up the stairs again. Once to the top, Jounouchi and Honda began talking about the hotel guy. 

"I officially give that guy my "100%, certifibly a loony" award. No hands down."

"So you finally found someone loonier than you, Honda?"

"It's not that, it's someone whose loonier than you, that's saying something."

"You mean you gave me your "100%, certifibly a loony" award?"

"Actually, it went to Kaiba first, but that guy's crazier than Kaiba."

Kaiba, meanwhile, was totally ignoring Honda and Jounouchi, and was instead telling Mokuba to hurry up as Mokuba coaxed Shana up the stairs.

"Come on, Shana, it's not that bad."

"Yes it is!"

"No, it's not!"

"I'm not moving!"

"Fine! See if I care! See if my brother cares if the carnivorous zombies get you!"

Suddenly, Shana was convinced to go up-stairs. She rushed up the stairs, and stayed close to Mokuba. 

"Man, Shana, are you a seventh grader or a second grader?"

"I'm smart."

Otogi, on the other hand, was totally oblivious to their conversation, and was paying more attention to "Yugi" talking to "Bakura".

"So, Tombrobber, are you enjoying this place?"

"Doh. I'bb alergic do muld. Nob even de muthiest tombb had muld like dis."

"You know, you sound funny when your nose is stopped-up."

"Shud up, pharoh boy."

"How in the world can you rob tombs if you're alergic to mold?"

"Der ith no mold in Egyptian tombths, you dinny." 

"I'm a what?"

"A dinny. Dimbrod! Dimbcompoop! Thaths wad I meand! You doh wad I mean, you dumby pharoh!"

"You shouldn't call me a nimcompoop if I'm the pharoh."

"You dond wan te be pharoh endy more ib I'm goink to call yew a dimcompoop? Find! I'b pharoh!"

"I never said I didn't want to be the pharoh any more, you nimcompoop!"

"Yew shouldn't call de pharoh a dimbcompoop, yew dumby ex-pharoh!"

They were all set up to get into a Shadow Game over Yami-Yugi's position as pharoh when Anzu broke it up by showing them their seperate rooms. Yugi and his Yami were sleeping in room 112 with Jounouchi and Honda. Ootogi, Meiko, and Bakura were stuck with Mr. Tombrobber; Anzu was forced to share a room with Shana, and Kaiba shared a room with Mokuba. They all were so exhausted, they barely had time to say "Good Night." before flopping down. Well, Ootogi wasn't too tired to make sure Bakura's Yami was absolutly asleep (and tied up with sheets) before he went to sleep (A fine line between exaustion and stupidity.) Or, maybe it was stupidity that made them spend the night at that hotel. Or maybe just dumb luck.

*Five minutes later*

"Hey! That guy never showed me where the bathroom was!"

"Shut up and go to sleep, you camel-dog!"

*Silence, followed by snoring, then grumbling.*

Yodel: Weellllll......since Swishy is currently doing her homework, you going to have me for the commentor instead. Lucky you! *smiles and glomps Shaadi* I am oh so much better at doing comments then doing fanfics!

Shaadi:*gasp* 

Yodel: You know Shaadi, I am seriously considering making you my fave. Yu Gi Oh character. It would be fun!

Shaadi: NO! *makes face*

Yodel: And because I'm here, we have a special friend here for you today.

Yami Bakura:*Verbs: 1. glares at Yodel 2. glares at readers. 3. eyes Shaadi's millennium items. 4. makes random hissing noises*

Shaadi: *eats green jello while backing off*

Yodel: Such nice verbs....

Shaadi: You lie! They are not nice verbs.

Yami Bakura: Shaadi? I need to borrow some of your blood to paint my fingernails with. Do you have any?*approach*

Shaadi: You're not using it to paint your filthy tombrobber nails, are you? *backs away*

Yami Bakura: No, I need it to live! I am a vampire! *points at spontaneously appearing fangs* See? And I need some to make the review too.

Shaadi: Why can't you use her blood?!?!?

Yami Bakura: Because it's made of plasma and random shards of the Master Emerald. 

Shaadi:....

Yodel: I am probably dead. Review or I will come back from the dead as an evil, carnivorous camel-dog, and steal Bakura away so none of you can have his pretty but deranged Yami.

Yami Bakura: !


	3. Lesson of the Day: Never sign a contract...

Swishy Fantasies Presents:

* * *

  
**Witty Motel, 1313 Nowhere Road: Chapter 3**

by: Yours truly

* * *

  
Swishy: Aaand, we're back with more fanfictiony goodness! But first, a word from our sponsors.....

Yami Bakura: I hate our sponsors.

_**DISCLAIMER!!!**_

Swishy: ... which comes in four wonderful flavors: Swishy-flavored, mint, onion (or Yami Bakura), and papaya!

Swishy: And, in this disclaimer, we have ourselves a guest speaker, along with Shaadi and me. Please welcome... Odion!

Shaadi: Will this madness ever end? First flavored disclaimers, then Yami Bakura, then.... ODION?!?

Odion: *is following Yami Bakura's candy trail* *Munch, Munch, Munch* ???... *looks up, sees Shaadi, glares with fuming rage* You......

Odion: *spits out Yami Bakura's Yami Bakura head-shaped candy in a realization of horror*

Shaadi: *glares with equal rage* Why did you invite my arch-rival(and Yami Bakura) into the disclaimer?

Swishy: He's your arch-rival? Ooh, I never knew that. *to audience* See, folks? We all (except Yami Bakura) learn something every day!

Yami Bakura: *frowns*

Odion: I do not wish to share this time with such an ignorant fool.

Yami Bakura: !

Shaadi: My thoughts exactly, that is why you should leave, you being the ignorant fool around here.

Yami Bakura: !!

Odion: Well, at least I don't wear doughnuts for earings!

Swishy: Ooo, pretty doughnuts!

Yami Bakura: Oooo, horrific-looking doughnuts.......

Shaadi: You want to make something of it, pony-boy?

Odion: Pony-boy?! Are you talking to me?!

Swishy: I want a doughnut!

Yami Bakura: I want a horrific-looking doughnut!

Odion: You talking to me, Shaadi?!

Swishy: Papayas grow on Yami Bakura!

Odion: You talking to me?!?!?!?!!?

Swishy: Well, of course he is, he couldn't be talking to me, I'm imagination, not a pony-boy. 

Yami Bakura: Not me either, because I'm a psychopathic, demented-looking, tombrobber! BWHAHAHAHAHA-

Odion: THEY CALL ME, MR. RISHID!!!! 

Yami Bakura: They call me "Evil Bakura." That is not my name. My name is-

Shaadi: COME AND GET IT, PONY-BOY!!

Yami Bakura: !!!

Odion: BRING IT ON, BALDO!!!

Yami Bakura: I cannot be "Baldo" and "Pony-Boy" at the same time. Pick one.

Shaadi: YOU SHALL NOT ONLY FEEL THE WRATH OF MY MILLENIUM ITEMS, YOU SHALL ALSO SMELL DEFEAT!!!!!!

Yami Bakura: Can I have your Millenium Items?

Swishy: It's "taste defeat", not "smell defeat".

Shaadi and Odion: *start attempting to use pro-wrestler moves on each other*

Swishy: Ooo, that hurt. This is so exciting, I am not able to speak, so do your stuff, Millenium Toothpick!

Millenium Toothpick: Swishy Fantasies does not own:   
1) The Lion King   
2) The Witty Phantom ('w')  
2½) Yami Bakura's Yami Bakura head-shaped candy  
3) Cobwebs   
4) Key Lime Pie   
5) The stuff mentioned in the afforementioned disclaimers (see previous chapters, in other words)

Yami Bakura: *eats Millenium toothpick*

Swishy: Yay! Go Shaadi! Go Odion! Go...uh-oh...

*Yami Bakura is slammed in to camera, static, static, static*

----------------------------------------------------------------------

*STARTING FANFIC*

The night was slept away peacefully. At least, it would have if a certain little event hadn't occurred in the night. It was somewhere around midnight. Mokuba was wide awake. Why? Apparently, Shana's zombie talk had gotten to his head. You see, if people start talking about zombies in a old, strange, worn-out place; it tends to make you see things. Like chairs that turn into chainsaw killers, blinds that turn into groping, moaning ghosts; and beds that turn into.... oh, wait, that was his big brother, not a dismembered corpse. It was a good thing his brother wasn't a dismembered corpse, otherwise, he'd have to scream, and his throat hurt already. But those other things made him wake up his brother every 15 minutes. Or try. After the first two times, Kaiba learned to tune out Mokuba. So, there was poor, innocent Mokuba (or as innocent as you can be as Kaiba's little brother), all alone in the room, with no one to protect him. His big brother was asleep, and he was afraid to get up to go get someone else for fear some big brutish monster would reach out from underneath the bed and grab his ankle. A big problem, especially if you have to go to the bathroom. He was still worried about the whole outhouse thing and didn't want to have to go outside in a storm in order to use the restrooms. Mokuba had just made up his mind to wet the bed and let Seto deal with it, when, all of a sudden, he noticed several details. One was the fact that it had stopped raining. The second one was when he looked at the fire escape plan, he noticed that there was no outhouse, instead, there was a bathroom on the main floor. This relieved him greatly, that he would not have to relieve himself outside. So he got up, grabbed one of those fancy candle holder-thingies, and stuck one foot out the door. Nothing. He poked the candle holder out. Nothing. He poked his head out. Ditto. He stepped out. Nothing again. This made Mokuba's fear relax. Seto was right. There was no ghosts in this mansion, only the ones in his mind. He took about five steps forward, when suddenly, there was a loud creak. Mokuba nearly wet his pants, but he was too old for that, so he didn't. It was the floorboard. "Whew!" sighed Mokuba. For a minute there, he thought Shana might actually be right. But she was silly. There were no such things as ghosts. 

He was about to go down the first step, and WHOOOSH-BANG! The big doors swung open with a loud bang. Moonlight streamed in, shining it's eerie, pale light all over the lobby. The wind came whistling in and blew around several pages of the book on the desk. Mokuba was scared silly by this, but not as much as what happened next. As he leaned over the railing to take a look down into the lobby, several people wearing black robes came hovering through the door. He couldn't actually tell if they were people or not, because they were wearing these huge colorful, gaudy masks, a big contrast between their black, hooded cloaks. They were all carrying suitcases or bags of some sort. Mokuba was frozen on the spot. He couldn't decide if he wanted to run back and get his big brother, or keep watching. He wound up opting for the latter. 

"Ah, yes." came a familiar, cool voice from the shadows. "Welcome to my hotel. Please, feel free to hang up your ... wear... before signing in. Hmm?" The same man in the purple suit came out again. 

"Yes. Thank you." came a heavy voice that sent vibrations of bad feeling up Mokuba's spine. They all began to remove the masks. Mokuba gasped. Their faces were all pale and transparent. A stout, old man, a tall old woman, a taller, young man, and a little girl. Suddenly, all eyes were on Mokuba. He swallowed hard. "Heh-heh... er .. hi..."

"Witty, do you know you have liveuns in your upstairs?"

The man in the purple suit looked up. Mokuba then recognized him. The Witty Phantom! "Er... yes, why, yes, that is a "liveun" as you ... er.. call them and" here he stepped through the counter. "I'll take care of it right away, right away."

Mokuba didn't stand there for a second longer. He screamed. "SEEEETTTOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! SOOOOMMMMEEEEOOONNNEEEEEE!!!! HEEEEELLPPPMEEEEE!!"

Quickly, the Witty Phantom hit a bell on the desk, then began immediately running upstairs, going "Shh...shhh.. you'll wake the guests.... I don't want you to have to have a noisy end, do you?" 

Mokuba paused, then shook his head.

"So, you should be quiet when I do you in, that way we'll both be happy."

Mokuba proceeded to continue to yell.

"Shh....SHHH!!!" shush the Witty Phantom running up the stairs. But he was too late. The doors flew open. All of them stared out into the hallway to see the Witty Phantom standing threateningly over Mokuba. There was a moment of silence, then Yami-Bakura said "Ooo, lookie, another malevolent spirit..." just before Shana screamed "IT'S AN EVIL HEAD-HUNTER PHANTOM!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!" and ran off down the stairs. The Witty Phantom looked offended. "I beg your pardon! You're referring to my dear, old aunt; my name's Witty, not Head-hunter. She was a headmistress at a school for fiends." he explained to the shocked group of teens. There was another pause, then Jounouchi yelled "HE MAKES CORNY JOKES!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES AND COVER YOUR EARS!!"

The results were instant pandemonium. Jounouchi, Anzu, and Bakura took east, Yugi, Honda, and Otogi took west, Kaiba rushed to the aid of his little brother, Mokuba, and Shana fainted on the spot. Oh, yes, and let us not forget Meiko. Meiko... was still asleep. He could sleep like a log when it came down to it, and would not be woken for anything but dawn's early light. This was due to the fact that Meiko's only window faced the east, and he had learned to sleep through the waves crashing on the rocks. So, the black-haired teen stayed in bed, whilest Jounouchi lead Anzu and Bakura to a dead end. 

"GREAT TIME TO SHOW OFF YOUR TOTAL LACK OF DIRECTION, JOUNOUCHI!!"

"I HAVE DIRECTION! IT'S JUST--- YAHH!"

For suddenly, another eerie specter poked it's head through the dead end and snapped at them "Quiet, can't a phantom get a some eternal rest around here?!"

"Heh- sorry, wrong way, ABOUT FACE!!" said Bakura, looking a little more that slightly scared silly. Actually, they were all scared silly, so scared that their "about face" turned into a panicked scramble, just as the floorboards gave way under their feet. So, the three teens fell screaming down into the basement, where they landed with a big KER-SPLOOSH!!! Into a room with 2 feet of scummy water.

"Oh, great!" moaned Bakura.

"Ewww!!"

"Oh, gross, oh man, it smells PUTRID!"

"I didn't know you even knew what that word meant."

"Hey, I remember bits and pieces of our vocab from our WEIRD English language class(sponsered by yodel & Kaiba Corp.). And I'm not that ignorant."

"This is just wonderful, I can..." Suddenly, Bakura paused. A smile came upon his face, sort of a peaceful-yet-someones-gonna-hate-me-for-this look. Bakura telepathically woke his Yami up gently.

"_Yami, there's something here I want to show you..."_

"_Wad? First yew wake me ub_ from by sleeb, then yew..." The allergy-ladened thief switched on, and surveyed his surroundings. He discovered two things very quickly. One: When his bangs switched up, they had some kind of green plant material hanging off of them. Two: Even with his allergies, he could still smell the awful place they where in.

"BUKURAHH!!! YEW WILL BAY FOR DIS!!!"

Yami Bakura quickly switched off. Bakura's body slumped over and started twitching, giving clues that the evil spirit was now making Bakura "bay for dis" as he himself had said earlier. Jounouchi and Anzu then decided that now would be the best time to grab Bakura and take off his Millennium Ring, causing Yami Bakura to lose concentration. But before Jounouchi could chuck it into the filth, Bakura suddenly realized how much he wanted it. Sparkle-y, shiny, pretty Millennium ring..... He grabbed it back and stuck it back on. 

"Hey, what was that for?! I was saving you from...." Suddenly, he noticed the look on Anzu's face. "What's the matter?"

She looked nervous. "There's something in the water. I saw it moving."

"Huh?" said Jounouchi, just as this huge, wet, hairy thing lunged from the water. It hissed at him and wrapped him in it's tentacles, trying to drag him underwater. 

"Jounouchi!" yelled Anzu, immediately grabbing him and trying to pull the creature off.  
"Guh! *Glub, glub*"

"BUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HE SHALL MEET HIS DOOM AT THE HANDS OF A WRETCHED SWAMP BEAST!!!" cackled Yami Bakura "THAT WILL SHOW THE FOOLS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH YAMI BAKURA, STAR WARS, AND COPYRIGHT LAWS—hey, my allergies are- ack!" For Yami Bakura was also seized by another "swamp beast" which also attempted to drag him under. 

Anzu was frantic. She didn't want to stay in the water, but she didn't want to leave Jounouchi and Bakura to their fates. So, while still holding on to their hands, she tried to climb on to a large, black pipe that jutted out of the wall. Success. However, she realized that this was more fruitful than it seemed, as she noticed how the the creatures recoiled when they got near the torch on the wall. Not wanting either for Jounouchi and Bakura to drown, nor to appear to be some helpless, fluffy, dizty (like Shana), she tried to grab the torch. However, she had forgotten that, that three tasks are harder than two, and that while she could balance on a pipe and hold her friends hands, she could not hold their hands, balance on a slick rock, and grab a torch. After all, she isn't perfect (nor is she me). So, she took the alternative, which was trying to grab the torch while teetering on a slippery rock while trying to hold up Jounouchi and Bakura. Now, Jounouchi was trying to help Anzu by standing up. Yami Bakura, at first, wasn't. He thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to drown them all by letting the beast pull Bakura's body under. But then it occurred to him that the monster might try to use the Millenium Ring as a chew toy (Oh. AND he needed Bakura's body to live. Right.). Plus, if he went underwater, he would ruin the lovely paint job he did on his... er he meant **Bakura's ghost** would kill him again for ruining the lovely paint job he did on **his **fingernails. Not his own. Bakura's nails. He would never do such a... maybe he should help Anzu is the bottom point. So, he also tried to stand. But Anzu still couldn't grab the torch. One of the beasties jerked really hard one way, and the other jerked just as hard. A third tentacle reached up and grabbed her leg. She sort of expected something like this would happen, but it still startled her. Since the tentacle (and the beast) were the same color as the disgusting pool that it lived in all it's life. It began groping her leg and started reaching up her skirt. "Eeeee!" screamed Anzu. What else would you do if you were grabbed by a slimy, hairy tentacle while trying to save people from being eaten? Oh, maybe one other thing. Anzu lost her grip on both of them and slipped off the metal pipe jutting out the side of the wall. "Noooooo!" She tried to grab Jounouchi again, but it was too late. The creatures had captured them all, and were already pulled them... nowhere. They didn't move.   
"Eh?" said Jounouchi "Why isn't it drowning us?"

"Because," cackled Yami Bakura "I **am **darkness!..." He paused. "No, wait. That's not the reason, that's the reason for something else which you aren't suppose to know about.. uh.. never mind! I said nothing! You heard nothing!"

Anzu sighed, then thought about it. If they weren't pulling them under, then that probably meant that they were waiting. But waiting for what?

"In the mean time," interrupted Yami Bakura "I have had enough of toying with your pathetic little minds, plus, I'm getting bored, so I'm going to let Bakura have a go at this. WE WILL BURY YOU ALL! THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!!! MUHAHAHAHAHA....." as he forced Bakura to come out of the sanctity of his mind.

"Wha? Who? How did we--"

"Shhh!! Someone's coming!" hissed Jounouchi.

"Ulp." Bakura was quiet. What were these things? Why were they holding them captive instead of eating them? But, this could only mean.... the one behind this all was coming to get them! He held his breath in suspense. Anzu shivered and looked scared. Jonouchi waited tensely. There was no shadow, no outlined figure. Only a pair of shoes walking down the stairs, slowly, enjoying their tenseness and their suspense and their scared-ness. Taking his sweet time. Slowly, as the steady, _drip, drip_ of the pipe continued. No footsteps. No glowing eyes. The flame of the torch flickered against the wall. Bakura was forced to breathe again. Anzu had lost her fear. And Jounouchi.... 

"Zzz...zzz..zzz....zz..." The blond teen's head was drooped over in a sleeping boredom. He occasionally stirred when a drop of water hit him on the head. But otherwise, he was comatose.

But as the man came closer, Bakura suddenly found reason to be afraid. As the man walked across to where they were standing, the man made no splashes in the water. No wince as his feet touched the cold, disgusting water. No heavy breathing. In fact, no breathing at all. 

**********************************************************

Meanwhile, Yugi, Otogi, and Honda were running like everything the other way. They didn't even realize that they had split up, until much later in this panic spree. Right now, life all came down to one big sprint past the Witty Phantom and down the stairs. Easy, if you're Honda or Otogi and have longer legs. Not so easy if you're Yugi Moto with shorter legs.

"*gasp, gasp* Wait....*gasp*...for.......*gasp*....me......*gasp*.....!.....*gasp, gasp*" 

Honda had just made it to the bottom of the stairs when he saw two ghosts staring goggled-eyed at him. The other ghost having left to leave the chaos to the Witty Phantom, there were only two other ghosts in the lobby. They stood/hovered right in front of the desk, a few inches off the ground. They were just about as ghostly as ghosts could get. One of them smiled and waved at Honda. The other stared at Honda with a pair of dead-pan eyes, cold and ... very lacking in life. As so was the rest of him. But, there they were. Two ghosts. Honda stared at them. Just then, Otogi ran into him. 

"Oof! Honda, whats the hold-"

He noticed the ghosts. "Er.. uh..."

Yugi ran into Otogi. "Ow!" He rubbed his head. "What's wrong?"

One of ghosts, which was wearing a black trench coat, floated on over towards him. "Yummy, I haven't had a human heart in such a long time. When's lunch?"

The three boys nerve's broke (Who could blame them?). They turned to the door and tried opening it. No success. The other ghost with wild, ruffled hair drifted over there to watch their efforts. He appeared to have been in his life some kind of knight. He had all the works: sword, armor, and all that other stuff, minus the helmet. "What are you doing?"

"Can't... get... door... open..." gasped Honda.

"Well, obviously," retorted the first, gaunt, thin-looking ghost in a matter-of-factly tone of voice. "When you sign a contract of haunting, you can't just walk out on the job."

"A what?" said Otogi, head snapping around to look directly at the ghost.

"A contract of haunting. You know," began the ghost, but paused and frowned. "Of course you wouldn't know, you're still alive. Here, let me explain. A contract of haunting is where a certain party is in need of something dearly that a phantom has. The phantom then writes up a contract of haunting, which is basically an agreement that, in exchange for staying at the phantom's location for an eternity and working as his slave boy, the signer will receive some beneficiary. Of course, this doesn't go over popular with most people, so most phantoms get someone to sign through stealth...." He trailed off.

Otogi stared at him for a long moment. "You're saying... we're trapped here forever?!?" 

"Unless you break some new kind of deal with him.... nnn... yeah, basically, you're stuck."

"But look on the bright side," said his companion, "Now you don't have to worry about retirement, thanks to that contract you signed."

Otogi calmly walked over to the wall and started banging his head rhythmically against it.

"Always... read.... fine... print.... before..... signing..... GAH!!"

Yami Yugi mentally stared at Yugi.

"_You SIGNED SOMETHING without consulting me first?"_

"_Well, er, I kinda forgot to tell you, and I thought you were already paying attention."_

"_I was busy cleaning out my mind through meditation! How could I have known you were about to sign a contract without my permission?"_

Honda, meanwhile, was searching for the perfect word to describe his rage.

"Oh... Oh.... OH, CAMEL-DOGS!!!"

Everyone stared at him. "I thought of it on the spur of the moment. You want me to say something worse?"

Otogi sighed, then groaned. "Great. My life is over. I'm stuck in here for the rest of eternity."

"Wow, he summed it up in three easy phrases." noted the messy-haired, sword-carrying of the two ghosts.

"Well," said the other one "If you're going to drop dead, could you please do it soon? I'm bored, and I haven't seen a bit of decent entertainment for weeks. This ought to be a riot." He sat down on the chair and started waiting for Otogi to follow up on his word and drop dead.

The three boys decided at this point that they probably wanted to move on. But as Honda started to try and sneak off, something came swooping down from the ceiling and landed right in front of him. He yelled startledly and jumped back. It was a pale woman, with reddish colored eyes and a flowing black dress. She was slightly taller than Otogi, and quite thin and gaunt. She was acting as if she had just happened to be casually dropping in for a chat, instead of eavesdropping or dropping off of the ceiling. The ghost with the black trench coat took her arrival with no response, but Yugi noticed the swordsman ghost edging for his sword. He looked at her as if she was something to be feared and un-liked.

"Pardon me, but I just overheard your conversation as I flew by, and, am I correct that these three have signed a contract of haunting?" she said in a smoothly innocent voice.

"Yeah." said the sitting ghost "The next bunch of fools, as I call them.".

"They didn't come here because of you, Anecra. You have no right to interfere with their problems."

"Interfere?" repeated Anecra. "Oh, no. I'm not here to interfere. I'm here to make them an offer."

"Personally," said Otogi, cutting in, "I've had enough with offers for a while."

She turned and looked at him. "Ah, I see. And, what are your names?"

Otogi kept his mouth shut firmly. Honda looked at the ceiling, and Yugi looked at the floor.

"Oh, don't have any names? Or do you not want to tell me?" She laughed to herself. "That's ok, I can understand your hesitance. But really now, that your stuck here, why not give us your names?"

Yami Yugi switched on. "Because, mad'm, I prefer to keep what I already have when I have already lost quite a bit." 

She really started to laugh at that one, her laughed beautiful but with a slight hint of coldness. The ghost sitting on the chair started to laugh as well with his hard, bitter, cold, screeching laugh. The swordsman's ghost looked annoyed. Otogi grew edgy, and Yami Yugi tensed, readying him for whatever came next. Honda continued to look up at the ceiling. Anecra pulled herself together.

"I'm... sorry.... I just haven't heard anyone say anything that quaint in such a while. Ah, but come now, I shouldn't be getting into hysterics like that. So, if you won't tell me your name, then, " she paused for a moment for a breath of air "will you tell me why you are possessing that pendent around his neck? When you could be freely wandering about? "

Yami Yugi looked shocked. He could never remember anyone saying anything he said was "quaint", and he was quite taken aback by this comment. And the fact that she could tell he was in the Millennium Puzzle didn't do anything to help his state of uneasiness. He withdrew into the Millennium Puzzle.

Yugi came back on line. "What do you mean, 'wandering about freely'?"

"You haven't told them yet?" said Anecra, with a slight edge to her voice.

"You cut into our conversation before we could get to that..." said the swordsman's ghost.

"Ah, well, maybe the master of the motel should tell you of that. However," she turned subjects "about my offer. Regardless of whether you like it here or not, or whether you like deals or not," she looked at Otogi "I have an offer that could possibly make your stay here more enjoyable. You interested?"

"Well, not really..." said Yugi "I'm with Otogi." 

"Same here." said Honda suddenly looking down to the floor.

She continued her smiling. "That's alright. You don't have to make any agreements now. However, if you every find yourself interested..." she paused here to look directly at Honda, then she started up the stairs. "I stay in room 113. Feel free to stop by any time..." her voice trailed off.

The followed, not for the first time nor the last, a long moment of silence, then at last the swordman's ghost spoke. "So, now, would you like me to give you a tour and history? Or would you like--"

All at once, a loud screaming came from overhead. Shana came shooting down the stairs, jumped the last five and landed on Honda, breaking him out of his trance. She was in a most horrible fit of hysterics, worse than before. Tears were streaming down her face. She sobbed and hiccuped uncontrollably and said something like "Change the channel, mummy, I don't like this movie. I don't like this movie...."

"Shhh, shhhh, ok, ok, calm down. Ok. Don't worry. It's not a scary movie." Honda attempted to sound soothing.

"I had a nightmare?"

"Er... not really...."

Her eyes grew wide. "It's real?"

"Uh... well, sort of ... yes."

She began wailing again.

"Honda!"

"Sorry, I can't bear lying to a crying little kid, I'd feel like dirt."

Suddenly, she was both angry and crying.

"PUT ME DOWN! I'M NOT A PRESCHOOLER!! YOU'LD BE SCARED TOO IF YOU SAW AN CHAINSAW MURDERER!!"

"Calm down, chill, I wasn't saying you were a preschool-- chainsaw murderer?!?"

"I think there was a movie about that once." said Yugi. "Wasn't there?"

The sitting ghost began to mutter under his breath "Chainsaw murderer, chainsaw murderer..... oh, chainsaw murderer! You mean Fredrick! Yeah, Fred lives up stairs. He was killed by some fisherman who cut his head off with a big fishing knife when he tried to rape his wife. Hates fishermen to death. Leaves everyone else alone. But he vowed if he ever found a guy he could say was a fisherman, he would cut his head off." 

Yugi looked wide-eyed. "Now I know my life's being manipulated. That is way too much coincidence." He started up the stairs. 

"What?" said Otogi.

"Meiko. He's still up there, asleep!" All three of them ran back up the stairs. The black trench coat ghost quickly floated up there after them. "Go, Fred! Give it to him! And leave me the heart intact!!!" Shana stayed down stairs, falling asleep on the floor. The sword ghost sighed, then tried to lift her up on to the chair. Meanwhile, the rest of them ran faster, only hoping it wasn't too late for poor Meiko. (Actually, the ghost was hoping it was too late for him, but I'm not that specific.)

**********************************************************

Swishy: Now, if all you readers could do me some favors, I'd be mighty grateful. First of all, if you like my story, then refer it! Tell people who you think would be interested! Get the word out! I can't write very good summaries, so my stories are easily overlooked. I want the world to know about Swishy and her awesome fics!

Shaadi: *is nursing black eye* That is "mighty" egotistical of you, is it not? And you have no right to bother the readers about your stories. If you cannot write summaries, then you are a sorry writer.

Swishy: *to Shaadi* Three words. Odion. Defeated. You.

Shaadi: *twitches uninjured eye.*

Swishy: It's just a little favor, that's all. Also, I need input. Should I "do in" anybody for the duration of the story? Should I let someone get bitten by a werewolf/vampire? Should I let an evil scientist operate on anyone and make them into a monster? Should I behead Meiko and make him a beheaded ghost? *starts getting teary-eyed and upset about the thought of killing Meiko, but Shaadi nudges to continue* Right. Anyways, I want some insight. That's why I want more readers. More readers = more insight.

Shaadi: Don't put symbols in your speech.

Swishy: *gets little vein pulsing over her eye, then does something to Shaadi*

Shaadi: stop b-ing sEw... wha r u doing 2 my spech? st0p it! cut i‡ Out! this is realy funy h@ h@ 

Swishy: *smiles sweetly* I know. That's why I did it. 

Swishy: Finally, as always, read and review. Good comments means Shaadi has less to say against me. His job is already in question, so I might wind up firing him...

Shaadi: *gasp* But, where would I go?

Swishy: I'll replace you with Malik! He's so much more handsome, and he doesn't criticize me much.

Shaadi: That is because you are both insane.

Malik: *is angry and viciously attacks Shaadi with his Millennium Rod he re-took from Yugi*

Shaadi: *backs away* Why do you let so many people in that are dangerous to my health? *pauses* Say, wouldn't this be considered "Shaadi-bashing"?

Swishy: *thinks about it* Oooh, you know what? You're right. Sorry Malik, Shaadi's taken his maximum abuse for the day. You can't hurt him any more.

Malik: *frowns* You just ruined my whole point of being here. *starts to leave*

Swishy: ... unless, I were to re-write the summary to include "Shaadi-bashing". I think I'll go and do that to clear up any earlier possible bashing...

Malik: *gets evil look on face*

Shaadi: Uh, Swishy, your summaries are fine! And I don't have any problems with symbols! Swishy? Swishy! SWISHY!!...


End file.
